Our Stories through Art

Our Stories through Art

The Road

This road was once driven on several times, driving 320.8km further north, to a place I was being forced to call my new home. 

The new home was 10km from the main road, past a dusty gravel road to a plot that was 8 hectares, inhabited by less than 10 people, living a distance and separate lives in the same property. Despite not having much work in that office I was forced to stay and work from the office at that plot. This was despite spending hours on the phone with my colleagues from the other office in the city, when the internet was down or doing tasks I could have done in the city office still.

One day I got my answer from the lady I called my boss, when she told me that until they stop calling you with the girlie name you shall be based in this office. I was forced to stay in “solitude”, away from my friends, family and the life I knew to be life, just because she believed that I could stop being gay when I’m living at the plot. The pain I felt on that drive up the N1 highway in that darkness of the night forced to endure a cold air conditioner breeze because I usually slept when someone drove was unbearable. I was slowly fading from existence.

There are several ways used to “cure” or “correct” homosexuality in society which they see as suit to change us. As though there is something wrong with us. I wonder if love is a sickness or why we should be treated differently for simply falling in love! Countries have even introduced laws that either put one to death for being homosexual or imprisonment. Whoever excludes I wonder if one day they sit down to think of the effect it has on the other human??? Then worse still the ones that stand on the pulpit to preach against homosexuality telling us that we are doomed. 

Do they ever think of the effect it has on the listeners…Are they spreading love, which is the centre of most religions… How many wrists have been slit by the children who are victimised for whom they love?

Photography and writing kept me sane during my trying times, and I never stopped to dream.

I am not writing to get your pity, but I want to share how I used the same road to find my freedom.

I forcefully got myself to travel from the plot back to the city with her on one August day when I silently vowed that enough was enough. I finally refused to be sent back to this confinement because of my sexuality. Eventually through determination and pressing on I left the job and cut ties with my tormentor, because my rainbow is too colourful to be confined. My dreams eventually got me to soar as I never stopped dreaming until I got my chance to spend a year at a beautiful dream factory where I was eventually surrounded by people from diverse backgrounds, with diverse life aspirations, but one goal towards making a change. 

From the dusty plot to a beautiful green campus with a peaceful lake in the backyard, where I could finally realise myself again and know that it is ok to be me.

kanthari campus with Lake Vellayani in the backyard
Green campus with peaceful lake

Whoever is reading this, if you are going through the same strive know that your rainbow is too colourful to be contained, never lose hope for living because someday the pain will be a thing of the past. Write your life, take a photo of how you see yourself, paint the picture or express it in a poem, whichever way you know how to. Shine on rainbow, never allow negativity to grow within you or control your destiny.